I´m not as crazy as you think

Last friday a friend of me died.

She had been dieing for more than ten years. She knew she was ill for 13 years.

Ell had Alzheimer and for the last two years it was just her body that refused to die. Her mind was had left her for four or five years. Her husband took care of her till the end.

An end that means the end of a suffering for all.
As much as I miss her it is hard to feel sorry because I´m glad it is finally over...

I had to go to the hospital on Friday for some MRT and Sonogram. Between Sono and MRT I had like six hours to wait and I thought: great! I finally have time to work on my BB. So I stocked up on pencil and paper and went to my appointment.

The sonogram went okay (nothing out of the ordenary) but than it started: a little scracht in the throut. Within not five minutes my eyes were swollen shot, my nose was running and I couldn´t breath. I had a terrible allergic reaction to ... I don´t know. So instead of writing my BB I was busy breathing!

The nurse came and asked me since when I was ill and I told her that I had been fine till 10 minutes ago.

That put them into action! Like in "ER" I got medication and went to the emergency room where they hooked me up on maschines that watched heard beat, puls and breathing. Since I had taken my car to the hospital I had to call my hubby to pick me up.

So all my planing was for nothing, I still hadn´t writen more on my story!

I´m good again! The next day the whole family went to a steampunk fair. That was more fun!

the clinic to get my gene test results.

They checked if I got a form of breast cancer that is genetically.

Well, it´s only a 10% chance that my cancer is genetic but I´m still nervous.

On the good side I meet with herminekurotowa afterwards and we go the the
christmas market.

Hi all!

I really need your help:

What was the name of the Steve Carlson Album that had a song with Jensen Ackles on it?

So wonderful can life be

... my hubby took me to a concert.
This is for skeletncloset hope you like it!
It had me almost crying.

A friend of me came out.

Well it wasn´t a surpriese to me. Ever since he found Luke hotter than Leia I have suspected something like that.

But here is the sad part: he came out to his parents. Obvious his brother knew since he lived together with his boyfriend for quite a while. I heard something as close to four years.

How unsure and affraid must he have been to delay his outing for so long!

Well I happy that he told.

Okay Okay it maybe shouldn´t come as a surpries but the SPN family is really caring about each other.

I had a awful day the doctor needed three tries to get the needel in my vein. The other weekend doctor is so much for the chemotherapie and the there is this beautiful october day outside and I´m stuck in here.

But then I got those wonderful get well wishes and they are all wellcome and needed! My parents showed up together with my little girl and later my hubby and I went (not allowed!) on a walk to the next door cemetary. This is the old town cemetary and if the would film SN in Germany it could really be a good location.

So now I´m back in my hospital room (since today I´m all to myself) I just had my last antibotica transfusion and hopefully the will take out the (I don´t know right english word) drainage out tomorrow.

I would like to tell you what the Professor B. told me about my futer treatment. Since my tumor got hormon receptors I can and I will get a hormon treatment. Because I now have an silicon implant I need to have a radiation (again I´m not sure that this is the right english word) for an even better prognosis (1-2% better) they would like to give me a chemotherapy.

My mother had breast cancer twice (!) and I know how hard the chemo is on the body. So I´m really thinking hard what to do next.

I will talk to some other doctors and will hopefully find the right way for myself.

Thank you for your great support. I hope I answered all the mails I got.